Cliche Assault! With Happily Ever After Anyway?
by brakken
Summary: A collection of one-shot assaults on InuKag cliches. But somehow, even without the ear rub seductions, or the mighty hanyou-stamina, or the mythical mating ceremony, they have happy endings. Ever After. Is that a cliche? You be the judge.
1. Chapter 1

**Setting the Pace  
**

* * *

"Inuyaaashaa?" a syrupy voice teased. A gentle finger traced his jawline.

He kept his eyes closed. This dream was way too good to let go of just yet, especially if Shippou was in the mood to taunt him about it afterwards.

"Inuyasha, wake up...I'm waiting for you..." the voice repeated, husky with want.

_Damn._ Seemed like the kit got some tips from the monk. Good thing his dream had exhausted him, so he was in no danger of tenting. He snuggled further into the delicious warmth in his arms, nuzzling the silky hair of dream-Kagome with the tenderness of a new born pup.

"Shut up...tired..."

"But...but _I'm_ ready again! What do you mean _you're_ tired?!" she whined, still not quite believing it.

_Hmm._ It couldn't be real...it had to be Shippou...but since when could the fox imitate her confusion so well? Just to be sure, he grudgingly reached for the brush of his tail. He froze when he found a silky soft behind instead.

"Not so tired after all, are you?" she grinned at him, flexing under his hand in a flirt, confident once again with the reinstatement of what she deemed the natural order of things. He was stronger, faster, had endurance a marathoner would envy. Of course he would have better stamina! The opposite was unthinkable.

He froze for a moment, considering his options. Failing to come up with any proper explanation for the sultry voice, and even less for the bare ass under his hand, he forced himself (it was a monumental effort) to crack an eye-lid.

He froze again, stiffer than before (though not where it counted) at the salacious girl in his arms. He shuddered when she gave him a wink. Now was _definitely _not the time...

She mistook it for a sign of pleasure. "I was wondering if you planned to take me with your eyes closed...Any positions you feel partial to? Just_ try_ not to wear me out _too_ much-"

His memory rushed back to him. No wonder he was so exhausted. It had been a hell of a first time, after all. Sighing, he closed his eyes again and just pulled her tighter into his embrace, his hands quite firmly wrapped about nonvolatile bits of flesh.

"Inuyasha?" she asked, surprised by the move. It didn't seem like a good position at all to her...

"Shhh...sleep...'L wake you up when 'm ready..." he slurred, losing himself once more to his blissful oblivion.

She lay in his arms for a long time, gaping like that. He would have laughed, if he wasn't...so...sleepy...

* * *

**A/N:** This was an idea of FrameofMind's: to tackle that fabled hanyou stamina. I, well, couldn't resist. I bow to the nudges! It is posted!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Warning: Couldn't quite make this canon, but I did my best. So Inuyasha's hanyou, Kagome's a miko, and they live in Japan. Not the Sengoku Jidai though, so I suppose it's an AU huh. Whatevs. Hope you enjoy (snickers).

* * *

**Favorite Color**

"Ohhhhh...Inuyashaa..." the girl in his arms moaned as she writhed, helpless victim to his wicked tongue.

His face was set in a grin of sheer masculine arrogance; he nearly reeked of it. Hearing the object of his fantasies say his name like that would turn any man at least a little smug, after all. (Having a face full of said object's finally and gloriously exposed breasts didn't hurt either.)

His smirk was tossed aside when her desperate, surprisingly strong fingers ripped his shirt open and caressed his torso, running along the planes and hard outlines of each muscle and tendon, slowly working their way down...

Wait...there was something-something he was supposed to remember-

Dammit, what was it he'd thought that morning? _Better not hit..._

Her lips started following her fingers, ever downward, even as those long lithe digits teased at the obvious bulge in his-_damn tight_-jeans. It was rather difficult to remember odd thoughts at a time like this, let alone think, though for some reason his memory insisted it was important...

_Better...Better not...not hit a-_

Her tongue started flicking his hardened nipple; his train of thought was derailed and crashing quite spectacularly, but still he tried.

_Be-etter not...not hit a home run on our date..._

Just as he began to puzzle over that absurd beginning, she managed to undo his belt and pull off her skirt all in one motion. He couldn't stifle the groan to see the little pink lacy thong she sported. Flushed with desire, she started to pull it off-

To put it simply, his memory didn't stand any more chance than an ant beneath his heel.

Growling fiercely, he tore off his own jeans then crushed her underneath him, grinding his hardness deep into her achingly hot core, trying to tease her into saying his name some more-but unfortunately, she was a tad distracted. And not in the way he wanted her.

She moaned appreciatively, but her face was scrunched up in confusion when she stopped. Dammit, she wasn't supposed to be look at his frigging manhood like that! You'd think he had some weird tattoo or something, or daisies on his underwear, or-

His memory, taking advantage of the relative pause in activities, took it upon itself to finally break through. One jean-tear-off too late.

_Better not hit a home run on our date tonight...'cause I don't wanna risk her thinking I'm some pansy because of my pink boxers.  
_

"Inuyasha...why are you-?" she started, just like he knew she would.

He groaned-for all the wrong reasons, unfortunately. Figuring that the mood was pretty much ruined beyond repair, he rolled off her to the side, dragging a forearm across his eyes to spare himself the view of her utterly _not_-turned on face.

"I know. They're pink. Everything else was fucking filthy, alright?! I had to wear fucking something!"

She gasped a little at his words. It wasn't that bad, was it? _But_, she thought as she glanced over his defeated, frustrated form,_ he thinks it is...he really thinks it bothers me that much...the baka...I'll show_ him.

"Inuyasha, I suggest that you pull your arm away." she murmured as she quietly drew closer.

"Why? So you can ask me how gay I am to my face?"

"What? How could you even think that! Inuyasha, you are many, many things-baka one of them-but gay is the furthest from them all. I'd have to be deaf and dumb to think that! I was just surprised they weren't red, is all."

"Huh? Red? Why would I wear red boxers-that's what those idiots who can't get red _properly_ wear." he scowled, then a more panicked expression burst upon his face as he gave his statement some thought. "You don't think I-"

She blushed at his wording, but shook her head all the same. "No...I remember the few times I've g-gotten a rise out of you, a-as it were; I-I never worried that your, ahem, e-equipment needed h-help-" she stuttered, more embarrassed than before.

"It's just...you're always wearing red! I thought it was your favorite color!"

"Keh! Stupid wench. Red is good, but anyone can wear it. It takes a real man to wear pink and get away with it." His smirk was back full force. From the arousal wafting his way, he really could pull it off around her. He mentally engaged in a quick victory dance-_she doesn't care, she's still going for me, she doesn't care, she's still going for me!_-his triumphant chant.

"You know, I was thinking to start where we left off, but clearly your ego doesn't need that kind of stimulation-" she mock-frowned as she sat up.

The part of him chanting stopped abruptly. And reunited with the rest to make sure that such notions would be erased completely.

His boxers soon joined her thong on the floor. Funny that they never noticed the important part:

They matched.

* * *

**A/N**: Alright, thankies to phlawere as usual for inspiration…Because the original version of this was very, very, very different and I think this one fits the theme a heck of a lot better. Oh, and I have nothing against pink boxers or gay people personally. I think our world would be a dull and square and utterly too predictable (not to mention worse) place without them-but Inuyasha is not gay. He pretty much screams it from the rooftops-sorry, _yells_ it-you see what I mean? The word 'scream' had too much feminine connotation for him. So…yeah. If you want my entire psychological analysis justifying his reaction despite the fact that he wore them to begin with, ask, but I think that's a tad long to include here. This note is already long enough…

Hope you liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha**

**Wedding Night Wonders  
**

**

* * *

**She was nervous, he could tell.

She wrung her dainty hands, her lovely eyes darted sporadically, and her plump, moist lower lip was playing victim to her teeth…

Damn, how did she manage to look so…look like that…even when she also looked like a frightened rabbit? It made no sense.

Well, none of the situation made sense, really…

He was wearing black robes, to start with. Fine silk ones, courtesy of the wages he'd compiled over the past months—wages he'd been willingly and gratefully paid. Since when were hanyou paid? For killing other youkai? Since when was he wearing anything other than his fire-rat?

And since when had he had the chance to be so…alone with Kagome?

He was going to have that chance for a long time though, now.

That was the strangest part of it all, of course. This whole business, really. It was the most absurd of all these oddities, the fact that he was now—

"Inuyasha? Is there anything—anything you need to tell me?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of his musings, and concentrated on her exceptionally nervous—but excited?—face.

She misunderstood the consternation on his face. Quickly striding forward, she laid a small hand on his chest and looked up into his face with a newly-scrounged-up bravery.

"You don't have to worry, you know, about telling me," she quickly assured him.

"Telling you…?" he gulped, a little overcome at her proximity. It wasn't uncomfortable, but, well, he was sensitive; it would take a while before he got used to her coming on so stro—

"You know…" she trailed off, pulling at her robes, undoing the obi. A sliver of creamy skin was revealed in the crack between her many inner kimono—from her collarbone to her navel.

His instinct was to run, but his feet seemed glued to the wooden floor, only his tongue capable of some feeble movement. "I-I-I really d-d-don't…don't know…really…there's some mista—"

She smiled kindly up at him, seeming braver by the second. She must have been stealing his usual courage, and he her typical lack thereof, because he felt inclined to scream 'Kyaa!' and bolt for cover.

"You have to understand, Inuyasha…I love you, as you are. As a hanyou. Whatever it is, I'm willing to go through with it, for you."

Now he felt stupid as well as scared. Great. His wife, as of today, was already making him feel dumb as well as weak. He couldn't let this keep going. He had some pride, after all! He opened his mouth to demand what the hell was going on—

And closed it like a gibbering idiot as she finally pulled all of her robes off and embraced him closely, arms wrapping about him, still smiling up at him encouragingly.

_Shit. Now what?_

_Mou…Now what?_

A little put off by his imitation of a very pink tree, she stood back with a huff, and delivered an exasperated explanation.

"Look, it's like I said before: whatever strange mating rituals hanyou practice, I'm willing to go through with them for you. You can stop acting so…awkward!"

She was flustered and embarrassed. She wasn't the kind of girl that showed her body off for attention—her school uniforms were prescribed attire!—and stripping, even for her love alone on their wedding night, wasn't natural for her. She'd done it for him! To show her devotion, her willingness, her openness, her acceptance! To him, for him! But no. She'd put her ass out in the cold, literally speaking, and for nothing.

Kagome was, understandably, upset.

Therefore, her mood did not improve when Inuyasha fell over, laughing.

She stood there, simply appalled for long moments, while he kept cackling. He even rolled on the floor in his fancy wedding silks. Nice.

"Inuyasha…" she warned, arms crossed, the unmistakable prequel to a sit.

He stopped—barely.

He sat up, wiped a few tears from his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. He was grateful his cheeks were already red from laughing, and so could hide his blush as he took in the stunning sight of his naked, fuming wife. Damn, he'd never get over calling her his wife, would he? But he had to calm down, or wifey would be putting him in severe pain…

Finally managing to gather some measure of composure about his face, he stood up and walked over and proceeded to pull her into his arms.

"Kagome no baka, how the hell would I know any hanyou mating rituals? How the hell could they even exist? So far as I know, I'm the only one that ever got so lucky as to have the chance…"

"Oh…I never…thought of it that way…I just thought…that there had to be something…"

Her voice was soft. A good sign. He'd hoped the hug would defuse her rising temper. He knew he couldn't trust just his words to calm her down.

"Like what?" he couldn't help but chuckle.

She blushed scarlet, and murmured something into his neck.

"Hmm? Didn't quite catch that," he smirked.

She glared. "I said I thought there might be some biting involved…marks…sharing of blood…I don't know!"

He barely kept down the guffaw bubbling up from his gut. "'Biting'? 'Marks'? 'Sharing of blood'? Are you serious? Where the hell did you get ideas like that?"

"Ooh, you jerk! You're enjoying this, aren't you!" she growled as she punched his arm.

"Oh! I've been wounded! Quick, Kagome, bite where you punched me—if we're mates, I'll heal faster!" he cried, clutching at the arm in mock agony.

"You know what, if you don't cut it out, you won't get anything tonight!" she huffed at him.

"Wait—what?" His tone was entirely serious now, for some reason.

"That's right! Forget hanyou rituals, I'll scratch the human mating habits too!"

Her words were scary enough, but when she pushed him away and reached for her discarded robes, he knew it was serious.

"Shit! You don't mean—" he gulped, still not quite believing it.

"Yes," she stated, firm as stone, and pulled on a spare from the pile. She walked toward the door, and without looking back, carelessly commented: "I'll see you in the morning, husband. For now I'll see if Sango needs some help with the twins…"

"Bitch! Come back here! I'll bite you all you want!"

But it was too late. She'd left. The night of his wedding, his bride had ditched him to help put those ear-pulling brats to sleep.

He slumped against the wall in defeat.

Maybe he should just make up some stupid rituals so she'd spend the night with him tomorrow…

* * *

**A/N:** Hey…Nice to know I'm alive, isn't it? It's been touch and go the past few weeks thanks to my brilliant idea to take math senior year and make it Calc D/Linear Algebra instead of statistics…never mind that the only careers I'm not considering are all the ones where that would be useful…ah well. One more week as I write this. I shall survive! Even the evils of the Gran-Schmidt process and QR-decomposition cannot keep me down for long! The common cold, however…is another story. Hope you enjoyed! Sorry for the long wait! The original third chapter for this series never really came out the way I wanted, so I stopped working on it after a while, and never really started again until now…


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

**What're ears for?**

Kagome woke up to the comforting sound of low, even breathing. Warm air ghosted over her forehead, mussing her hair even more, if that was possible.

She let out a contented sigh. Last night had been truly glorious, all the more because it had been so unexpected. To think that one retaliatory bite on the ear in the middle of a fight could lead to this...

FLASHBACK

"Inuyasha, you're being ridiculous! Just because the headman was rude doesn't mean you're allowed to try and scare him half to death!" she stomped her foot, hands fisted in frustration.

"The hell? 'rude' you call it? Did you even fucking hear what he _said__?_" he barked back, just as passionately.

"Does it even matter? We had an offer for a room to sleep the night _and_ free food, and you lost it for us!" she yelled back. They'd run out of food and money only two days before, and the offer had come as such a boon—how could Inuyasha have gone behind her back and done that!

"So you didn't hear, did you..." he mused, suddenly understanding. It made sense, really. This was how it always was: him protecting her, her never realizing the danger was even there.

"Nothing he said could have justified you going and threatening to slit his throat like that! What demon possessed you, Inuyasha?!" she seethed, all the more angry at him for being calm, now, of all the contrary things!

"An inu youkai, in case you never noticed! And guess what! We don't let threats to our mates go lightly!" His indignant fury was such, just thinking about what could have happened, and how ungrateful and clueless she was, yet again, that he didn't censor himself.

He didn't even realize what he'd said until she ranted back: "What on earth are you even talking about! What threat, what mate, and how do inu youkai have _anything_ to do with this!?"

Well, there was no going back now. Even if he dodged the question, she'd just go and ask the slayer, and then all hell really would have broken loose. Better explain it to her himself, and hope she wasn't too repulsed, than let the slayer put her spin on it.

She stood before him, hunched over, head buried in her hands in frustration. Her neck would be too hard to get to—so the ear it was.

"Inuyasha! What are...you...d-doing...uhnn..." Kagome was at first startled at the assault on her ear, but then the sensation took over, and she was left moaning.

Inuyasha would have been very gratified by the sound, had he noticed it. As it was, it was taking all his attention and focus to not follow up the hard bite with a nibble along the rim, and then a scrape and wet suck of her lobe—wait. Too late.

"I-inu-ya-asha?" she gasped a little, drowning in the feel of it, but even more confused than before.

He smelled her distress and pulled away quickly, if regretfully. He panted for a few moments, collecting his thoughts, before saying what he'd planned all along. "Seems like you forgot I'm inu hanyou, or what that means. It means: I protect my pack, especially my m-mate. I mean, well, I don't really have one yet, just someone I'd want to be my mate, but to my instincts, it's all the same, so when I heard that piece of scum of a headman talking to his son about you, how to get you away that night, I couldn't fucking well let that fucking go!"

"W-what? What did they say—who's your mate—who's the one your instincts think of as your mate—your pack—what? Inuyasha, I don't understand the half of that," she asked in a voice still breathy with want; it made it all that much harder for him to concentrate. He'd never imagined one little bite would affect her so much—he'd expected revulsion and fear, not...not the overwhelming, drugging, delicious arousal clouding his senses...

"Baka, _you're_ the one I wish was my mate. The bastards said they wanted to take you; I let them know that wasn't an option. My pack is our group. Got that?"

"I thinks so-but wait—Inuyasha—when you say mate, do you mean...do you mean you have...feelings for me?" Her voice wasn't much more than a whisper now, she was so scared she was wrong.

The raw hope shining in her eyes, streaking through her scent; it gave him the strength to answer honestly. "Yeah...mate is...lifelong companion...shit, what's the word humans use? Spouse? Except youkai don't do the whole ceremony thing. I mean, there is a ceremony, but it's not like the human one. I mean—"

"Inuyasha?" she interrupted when he seemed so nervous he might run away.

"Y-yes?"

"If it means that you love me and will stay with me, then yes, I'll be your mate," she smiled up at him, shyly, no lies, only joy.

That seemed like a pretty damn good answer to him, but there was one little, eensy question he still wondered about. "Fuck, of course it does, but-but why? Why in hell would you tie yourself to some outcast like me?"

"Inuyasha no baka...because I love you-_mmph!"  
_

The rest of her words, and his for that matter, were swallowed in kisses and pants and moans and a shared shriek and shared blissful 'goodnight' murmurs.

END OF FLASHBACK

She grinned up at her sleeping companion, debating the best way to wake him up. She was in the mood for a bit more play, after all, so she had quite a few options to choose from—she was distracted as she saw one of his ears twitch.

Perfect. The last bout had more or less started with her ear—why not his now?

She wriggled a bit, trying to move up enough to give him her bite in revenge, but his arms around her only grew tighter. Still sleeping, he let out a low rumble, a warning growl that said, quite clearly, 'nice try, but you're not moving 'til I say you are'.

She pouted a little in defeat. There was no way she'd slip out of his grip enough to have his ears at her mouth level, so what could she do now?

A mosquito buzzed by and bit her ear. Without thinking, she smacked it.

Oh.

Oops. Her hand had been free to move the entire time, nestled in his hair as it was, in the perfect spot to reach those adorable appendages.

With a lascivious smirk, she started rubbing, trying to imitate the rhythm of the erotic pulse they'd moved to only hours before.

She all but crowed in triumph when his eyelids flickered, and one of his hands grabbed her arm, stilling her assault.

"What," he growled, voice low from sleep, "do you think you're doing, Kagome?"

She purred her response as he absentmindedly ran his hands through her hair. "Turning you on, revving you up, waking you up ready to—"

"Kagome?" he interrupted, trying to stifle a smirk.

"What?" she asked innocently, surprised at the look on his face, surprised his growls weren't reverberating in the back of her throat by now.

"Rubbing my ears—that's not—that's not really related to the other part of me, you know? That doesn't exactly—what was it you said? 'rev me up'." He lost the battle to restrain his chuckles, and his smirk.

"Oh....but, but, when you bit my ear yesterday—"

"Guess my ears just aren't as connected with the rest of me as yours are," he grinned, stroking one lightly, delighting in her shiver.

"I...guess...not..." she managed to groan between his light massage on her ears and less gentle molding of her ass.

"But if you want to 'wake me up ready to' do it in the future..." he smirked all the more at her, cocky beyond measure at the half-lidded stupor his attentions had driven her to. "Don't be discouraged...I'm open to fondling anywhere that works."

"Like...here?" She smiled innocently up at him as his eyes nearly crossed. She still had some strength to do more than wriggle and moan, even if it wasn't much.

"That...would work..." he managed to say without moaning. "But now that we've...fixed that...uhhhnnn...problem," he didn't manage it the next time.

"No more...talk-ing."

They shared their agreement on that front with tongues, but no words.

Ears weren't all that important anyway.

**A/N: **Hehehe…had this written a long, long, long time ago. It just never really came out right. I still don't know how to 'fix' it, as it were, but it's not bad enough to toss altogether…so here it is. Hope you like it, even if I don't particularly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Demi-dog Damsel**

**-**

Inuyasha slumped back into camp, back from visiting Kikyou yet again, with his typical hangdog expression: drooping ears, dull eyes cast downward, and a depressing curve to his mouth.

All this changed in a moment as he failed to smell Kagome, and Shippou leaped at him, screaming that the girl had run off alone hours ago, and had yet to be found.

The hanyou stood for a moment, sniffing intently, then cursed and took off into the dark forest.

Night was falling and her scent was growing stale; she'd been gone for hours, and with no protection…! It was only a matter of time before some youkai came after her and killed her, helpless human girl that she was.

--

Kagome hissed quietly as she tested the shocking cold water of the stream. Steeling herself, she cupped a handful and splashed her face, scrubbing mercilessly.

After sobbing and stumbling in the forest for two hours, her self-pity had worn thin, and she'd decided to at least wash her face.

Even if her heart was in rags from being torn so many times, it didn't mean her face couldn't be clean. As silly as it was, the simple chore seemed to be helping: it was something to focus on other than what she'd just run from.

In fact, she was concentrating so hard on her task, that she didn't notice the youki creeping closer until it was almost on her. With a jolt, the jyaki hit her and she dropped her hands to stare in shock at the reflection of a huge snake demon in the stream.

Screaming, she twisted away, immediately thinking of her bow—she'd left it against that tree!

Running in a zig-zag to evade the sizzling poison the viper spat, she reached the tree, grabbed the bow, and twisted behind the thick trunk, barely missing another attack.

Now for her quiver—where was it? Back at camp? No, back at the stream! What an idiot she was, forgetting it! Cursing herself (mildly), for this mistake, she made her rushed but careful way back to the stream.

Snatching an arrow out of the quiver at random, she whipped around, bow raised, aimed straight at the snake's tender throat, ready to let fly—

But then a blur of scarlet grabbed her, and brought them both to the low branch of a nearby tree.

"You idiot! You're lucky I found you, you could have been killed—" he scolded, infuriated with her, even as he leapt down to face the would-be killer.

Except that he wasn't facing the serpent; he was facing her. And in the moment that the snake sensed its opportunity, she dared to stand on the narrow branch and let fly her arrow—saving Inuyasha's life.

Inuyasha was on the verge of scolding her for putting herself in danger by standing on the branch (she had shit for a sense of balance, she'd surely fall!) when the pink explosion behind him occurred.

Whipping around, his jaw fell as the snake's head fell at his feet, severed from the body by one arrow.

A yelp broke his shock, and he turned to find Kagome dangling unceremoniously from the branch, having slipped, just as he'd predicted.

…After saving him when he thought he was saving her…

He helped her down quietly, deaf to her annoyed comments about how she'd been 'just fine!' and he could 'go back and protect the one you just left because _I_ don't need your protection!'…well, not completely deaf. He winced, and thought deeply.

Finally, after they'd both scrubbed themselves clean of snake guts in the chilling stream, he spoke.

"Kagome…that was fucking amazing. "

Her eyes scrutinized him closely.

"I…well, you've just shown that you…don't need my protection the way, or as much, as I thin-thought you did…"

Her eyes widened with fear. He didn't mean…if he didn't think he had to protect her, then, would he go protect Kikyou instead? Yes, she'd said it, but she hadn't _meant_ it...he knew that...right?

"But…I…I was so fucking scared, when I saw that snake about to take a bite out of you…and so fucking mad at myself for leaving…and I thought, if it was Kikyou I'd seen in that same position, I wouldn't have moved."

_What…is he saying?_

He hung his head, ashamed, not looking at her. She felt she'd burst if she didn't know what he really meant in the next few minutes.

"You…you've shown that you can protect yourself without me here. That you don't need me to save you. But…I need you…if only to save me from myself."

She nearly fell over. And when he turned his eyes toward her finally, looking so helpless…how could she refuse?

They walked back to camp the next day, smiling quietly. She'd promised not to share just how much he'd failed to protect her on the condition that he take her with him to see Kikyou the next time.

As she'd put it: "How can I save you if you keep me away when you need it the most?"

And he'd spluttered, a true damsel in denial of distress, and she played the knight, with a shining smile for armor.

* * *

**A/N:** Not much to say…The thought kind of hit me over the head at dinner the other night. I might have posted earlier, but I discovered (i.e., got addicted to) some new animes at ComicCon, and have been lost in the respective worlds of Ouran High School Host Club (I recommend) and Kaze no Stigma (I highly, highly, highly recommend) for the past two days. No worries though; neither has the capability to make me switch my favorite writing fandom. Just distract me for a few days…

Oh, and this was written under the influence of M.I.A. 10 dollar and Bucky Done Gun specifically, if I remember right…


	6. Chapter 6

**The Real Reason for Removal**

With a long keening wail, Kagome climaxed, her convulsing, clenching inner walls dragging Inuyasha into blissful free fall with an enthusiastic howl that shook the walls of the abandoned hut.

For a few moments, they merely breathed, recovering from the flood of pleasure. Filled to the brim with contentment, Inuyasha let his head fall onto Kagome's soft flesh, his arms wrapping tightly around her as his eyelids drifted closed…

Kagome was equally happy, her skin flushed, her eyes misty, her eyelashes fluttering downwards, her entire body supple and pliant with satisfaction. Except, well, for one tiny, really quite minuscule detail…

Something small, and hard, and sharp was digging into her breasts. Actually, to be specific, many small, hard, sharp things were digging into her breasts and stomach.

Inuyasha had already lost consciousness, and she felt just as tired, so she didn't bother thinking much about what was bothering her, and merely, purely reflexively, reached down to gently remove whatever was preventing her much-desired blissful slumber.

Except that whatever these things were, they weren't coming off. She tugged a bit harder, annoyed. Still, they resisted, only rearranging themselves into more painful positions, if that was possible. One was even poking one of her nipples! Ugh!

Delicacy be damned, she wanted those things off! If Inuyasha woke up, he'd just fall right back to sleep again, it didn't matter!

Almost violently, she groped for the things, finally catching hold of a few, and started pulling with all her might, twisting and turning, trying to get some angle, to find some way to get the blasted things off—!

She managed, somehow, to pull Inuyasha's head up too, and then with a strange popping sensation, they were off. She sighed with relief, and tossed them aside, stroking Inuyasha's ears to put him back to sleep, and fell asleep herself.

--

The next morning, Inuyasha woke slowly. He felt unreasonably comfortable and happy, and yet…something was amiss. He blinked a few times, then stared at the wonderful sight of a bare and pleased-looking Kagome sleeping with him.

He squeezed her slightly, and smiled, and even indulged his urge to nuzzle her warm, wonderfully scented skin, his mind awash with the amazing memories of the night before.

It was as he pulled back some, to take her in better, that he realized what was different: a weight was absent from his neck. In abject surprise, he stared down at himself, even raising a hand to his rosary-less skin, just to be sure.

_When did that happen?_ He wondered, staring at the girl. He didn't remember her taking it off…

_Well…I guess she finally trusts me that much…_he thought with a sense of awe. But as his initial joy at having the hated thing removed waned, he realized how much he didn't mind it anymore; how necessary it was. Perhaps it was the only thing that let him pass through the well… And also…

"Kagome…what were you thinking! Baka, what will happen if I turn full-youkai! How will I turn back?" he thought aloud (unintentionally).

"Mm? What's the matter, Inuyasha?" Kagome yawned like a cat, twisting a bit to see his face better.

"Oh, well, er," he stumbled. He hadn't meant to wake her up!

"I was just…well…Can you put the kotodama back on?" he blurted out.

"What? Wait, when did it come off?" Kagome asked, confused. But even as she said it, the memories of last night came back to her, and she realized: "Oh! That was the rosary? I—I didn't realize…It was an accident…"

He'd been the embarrassed one until now, but Kagome's blushing cheeks and inability to look him in the eye far rivaled his own.

"You did it…by accident?"

"Y-yes, because, well, you fell asleep on top of me, and it isn't all that comfortable, you know, and I was really sleepy, so I just wanted to get rid of it; I wasn't really thinking…"

He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. "Yeah, you sure as hell weren't…Anyway, can you put it back on?"

"What? Why? I thought you hated it! And you know, I really do trust you enough, I have for a long time, it's silly to make you keep it—" Kagome said, knotting her brows with confusion.

"I said just put it back on, ok?! Shit, what's the big deal!" he growled, not wanting to think about, let alone talk about what might happen if he turned full-youkai and she couldn't sit him out of it.

"Hey, what's all this noise about? Is something amiss?" came Miroku's officious voice through the door. "Inuyasha, did you get over-excited like I warned you about—"

"Shut up Miroku! And hell no, what kind of idiot do you take me for? This is none of your business!" Inuyasha yelled, leaping to his feet, torn between keeping the monk away and anger that his friend could think so low of him.

"Inuyasha, if Kagome needs a little medical attention, it _is_ our business," came Sango's steely tones through the wall.

"Sango-chan, Miroku-sama, that's not the problem—" Kagome finally managed to interrupt, blushing from the roots of one set of hairs to the other.

"Kagome! If that jerk hurt you, even by accident—" Shippou added his voice to the mix.

"Will everybody SHUT UP!" Inuyasha roared, effectively cutting everybody off.

"And stop talking about me like I'm some sick bastard with no control over his own body! All I want is for her to put the goddamn rosary back on!"

"I won't do it!" Kagome shot back, the first to recover from Inuyasha's outburst.

"Wait…_that's_ what you were fighting about?" a surprised voice asked from outside the hut.

"Yeah, and if she keeps refusing me, I'll just go and get Kaede to help me out!" Inuyasha growled, glaring at his new (and much too stubborn) mate.

A cacophony of laughter exploded just outside the thin sliding door.

"Did you—did you hear him? Get Kaede to—bwahahahahaha!"

"Oh, shut up you bastards…" Inuyasha growled to himself, successfully replicating Kagome's previous hair roots-to-hair roots blush.

Grumbling still, especially at his mate's chuckles, he collected his hakama, grabbed the kotodama, and headed out the door.

"Wait—he was serious! Inuyasha!" Kagome called, running after him, barely grabbing his haori in time for cover.

An impromptu chase that ended in Kagome's bedroom somehow erased the fight from the thoughts of both parties. And Kagome was very pleased that night to sleep without small, hard, sharp things poking into her flesh.

--

**A/N:** I generally try to steer clear of my characters laughing at my own jokes (as I'm often put off by this as a reader) but this time it was necessary for this facsimile of a plot. And I can't think of anything else intelligent to say about it. As for the fic itself, I'm rather inclined to the idea that the rosary would be removed for so normal and un-exciting a reason as it being uncomfortable...Because, come on, it can't be. For Kagome in that position, I mean. Underwire's bad enough, but fangs? Not fun. And to be (somewhat) serious, for a moment, all the different reasons to leave the rosary on or take it off (i.e., she trusts him! But he doesn't trust himself! Oh, whatever shall they do?) tend to balance each other out, which is why another, completely different reason needed to come into play for anything to be done about the matter.

Hope you enjoyed reading this...I know I was practically cackling while writing it. (And I don't want to know what that says about me.)


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